Please update your related StackOverflow post, too. (Ideally, you’d link that StackOverflow post back here, too, since it was the original impetus. I’ve linked to it from here via this post.)
You may want to open another post somewhere about this current issue. I fear what you are trying to do is so removed from the topic here that even if it gets answered here, it won’t do any favors for anyone encountering a similar issue.